How do you open a post where you're asking for help? The word "help" would probably be a good start, but it just doesn't seem to do it.
For those of you who don't know, I'm currently working two jobs: running the summer camp for the teen(os) at Harvest Hands, and working the weekends at Barista Parlor. I'm glad to be doing both, but it's pretty tough to not have any days off. The summer is two and a half weeks from being done, so I only have sixteen more days of it (positive thinking, right?). But right now I'm tired. I know that this is mostly my own fault: working two jobs, going to sleep too late and not jumping out of bed in the morning, etc. But that doesn't take away from the one glaring fact of my existence right now:
I'm worn down.
This isn't a new feeling, nor is it unexpected. I knew this would eventually happen and still pursued this lifestyle because, mostly, I wanted to see if I could handle it. Over the past six months I've: moved away from home on a whim, crashed on a friends couch for a couple months, driven my car all around, and now am working two jobs. I enjoy pushing myself and seeing what I can do. But I feel like I've pushed myself to almost the edge, so now I'm here asking for help.
Here's what I need:
A prayer. Just a short one, for good rest and patience. I need to be able to focus on the reason why I'm at Harvest Hands this summer, and how I can do the best work I can do. It's really easy to lose perspective and get tired with what I'm doing, think that I'm not doing enough, or can't make an impact.
If you have the time I could really use a blessing. Whatever that looks like from you to me.
I know that it's not comfortable to ask for these things, especially when we're supposed to be "independent" and not need help. It's not hip to ask for help, it's not cool to admit that you can't do it. But right now I'm ok with that.
And here's the other thing: I'm sure that at some point you're gonna feel the same way. If we don't live in the same city there's no way for me to know that, so please tell me. I want to help, sometimes I just need to know when and how.
Thanks for reading, hope to hear from you either way.
Luke
Luketlancaster@gmail.com
