If you ever want to know how I'm doing spiritually, just ask if I've brushed my teeth.
When I was young my mom would make me brush my teeth because she loved me. And because I was a child I didn't want to brush my teeth. I would even go so far as to get the toothbrush wet and stick it in my mouth. But I wasn't going to use toothpaste! Because then I would be giving in. To this day I still resist when people try to tell me that I will like something. I want to be my own person and am afraid that if I like it, that will give them the power to "make" me like other things. I realize how silly (and even neurotic) this sounds so I resist the urge too dislike merely because someone told me otherwise, but it is still a challenge sometimes.
I don't know how you are experiencing the first statement I made, so let me elaborate. I find that I am very bad at compartmentalizing my life. I let things affect me. When I found out my ex was dating again I had a bad day at work.. When I got chewed out at work because I wasn't doing a good enough job I had a bad night at home. When Cory and I sat out on the porch and smoked and talked the next day was great. When I figured out that I liked this girl I took vacation, hopped on the motorcycle, and drove to Oklahoma to see her. I don't do a good job at taking my feelings and keeping them in one part of my life. I find that when the dishes are done I can think more clearly. When my room is clean I can relax more. When the sun is shining and white cumulus clouds are floating lazily by I get happy.
While doing research for a paper I wrote in high school on George Washington I read something that stuck with me: Washington knew that every part of his life was connected. There were no such things as "secret sins." This is why he tried to live a virtuous life. The book gave Bill Clinton as an example of how things have changed. Now people think that what other people don't know won't hurt them. That they can live one way in one area of their life and a different way in another.
I have found that if I am taking care of myself spiritually, spending focused time with God, that changes the way I live my life. I have a desire to take care of myself. I want to get out of bed and go for a run, take a shower, brush my teeth. As silly as it may sound when I am not putting forth any effort to seek out the Lord I tend to also not put forth any effort to take care of me. As I write this down it seems so obvious. Of course this is the way it is.
Luke
Luketlancaster@gmail.com
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
state of the blog address
Thank you for reading my thoughts. A couple of weeks ago my blog hit 1,000 pageviews. And unless my Mom and Grandma are hitting the refresh button alot, that means more people are reading than just them. It means more than you will know that not only are you reading, but a number of you are responding. When I first started writing in this I didn't know what it would look like, but I am glad that it has turned into some more "real" contact between you and I. Keep sharing your thoughts with me as I am with you, and if you do it in a blog shoot me the address and I'll follow along.
Besides thanking you I also wanted to clarify the purpose of why I'm doing this. When I tell people that I am writing in a blog the typical response is "why?" And that why carries with it the thought "that's super-lame that he's doing that. Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time?" And to answer that question: it could be a little lame, and no I really don't. Besides work and studying for the GRE my time is blissfully empty. Let me try to pursuade you that it isn't super-lame. Though I'm assuming that if you're reading this you don't think that.
The first reason why I spend my time writing in this blog is that it acts as a "have to do" part of my life. Besides work there isn't much that I absolutely have to do intellectually. I spent four years in college writing papers, taking tests, and working with groups. And now I find myself not doing any of those things. So Rob suggested that I start writing in a blog to keep my mind turning over and I took him up on that. These "papers" aren't so much a public forum as a personal outlet for my sometimes disorganized thoughts. The fact that people get to read them just keeps me accountable to continue to write them.
The second reason I write in this blog is related to one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite authors:
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis
I firmly believe that while we are all special and unique like little snowflakes. But we also have a whole lot in common with each other. So the second reason I write in this blog is to share my thoughts with you and see if they stick because that's what you've been thinking. The main reason why I said that I was afraid to go bald was because it is a crazy thought. But everyone has those crazy thoughts. I don't for one minute think that I'm special enough to be the only person in the whole world to think things that are downright silly. Being afraid that I'll never get a date because I'm getting bald is downright silly. But you might be thinking the same thing, or you might be thinking that no one will ever understand your love for a certain type of pens. Or the fact that you sleep with a teddy bear even though you're a 24 year old. Or that you enjoy making pies but don't really like them. Or that all you want to be when you grow up is content (and able to travel with people you love).
So the main reason I write in this blog is because I hope that by doing so you won't feel like you're alone. The first night I came to Nashville after graduation and Brookwoods was the single saddest night of my life, because while I was surrounded by people I felt more incredibly alone than ever. And if I can help any one person while they are going through that, I want to.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your responses.
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
Besides thanking you I also wanted to clarify the purpose of why I'm doing this. When I tell people that I am writing in a blog the typical response is "why?" And that why carries with it the thought "that's super-lame that he's doing that. Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time?" And to answer that question: it could be a little lame, and no I really don't. Besides work and studying for the GRE my time is blissfully empty. Let me try to pursuade you that it isn't super-lame. Though I'm assuming that if you're reading this you don't think that.
The first reason why I spend my time writing in this blog is that it acts as a "have to do" part of my life. Besides work there isn't much that I absolutely have to do intellectually. I spent four years in college writing papers, taking tests, and working with groups. And now I find myself not doing any of those things. So Rob suggested that I start writing in a blog to keep my mind turning over and I took him up on that. These "papers" aren't so much a public forum as a personal outlet for my sometimes disorganized thoughts. The fact that people get to read them just keeps me accountable to continue to write them.
The second reason I write in this blog is related to one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite authors:
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis
I firmly believe that while we are all special and unique like little snowflakes. But we also have a whole lot in common with each other. So the second reason I write in this blog is to share my thoughts with you and see if they stick because that's what you've been thinking. The main reason why I said that I was afraid to go bald was because it is a crazy thought. But everyone has those crazy thoughts. I don't for one minute think that I'm special enough to be the only person in the whole world to think things that are downright silly. Being afraid that I'll never get a date because I'm getting bald is downright silly. But you might be thinking the same thing, or you might be thinking that no one will ever understand your love for a certain type of pens. Or the fact that you sleep with a teddy bear even though you're a 24 year old. Or that you enjoy making pies but don't really like them. Or that all you want to be when you grow up is content (and able to travel with people you love).
So the main reason I write in this blog is because I hope that by doing so you won't feel like you're alone. The first night I came to Nashville after graduation and Brookwoods was the single saddest night of my life, because while I was surrounded by people I felt more incredibly alone than ever. And if I can help any one person while they are going through that, I want to.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your responses.
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
Monday, April 25, 2011
my path is my path
This pas weekend I spent in Oklahoma. More on that a little later, I bring that up to say that I had to do laundry for this trip. And since it was a little last minute I was rushing to get my laundry done. And whenever I am in a rush I tend to forget things, like the small notebook I keep in my back pocket. The washer didn't hurt it too much, though the dryer turned it into tinder. This notebook is where I write down my shopping list, directions, peoples names (so I don't forget), and my ideas for this blog. Because I washed and dried those ideas I had to come up with a new one. This is actually something I've been thinking for a while, and I tried to formulte and tease out the ideas a little more while I was mowing the yard. Let me know what you think after you're done reading.
My Mom and Dad are high school sweethearts. They're also the greatest parents ever. I wrote earlier that I was mowing the yard. I enjoy doing this, but it was getting dark and I really didn't want to finish the back. "I'll just do it tomorrow," I thought to myself. But fifteen minutes later I was done with it, just in time for the sun to retreat across the horizon. I blame my parents for this. Because of them I can't leave any job undone. Because of them I feel like I have to give my all to everything I do. "If you're gonna do something half-assed," Dad said once, "it's not worth doing at all." I say I blame them, but I'm really grateful for that. Because of that I have a job that I am good at, the people I work with respect me, and the people that see me work notice it. This isn't to make my self puffed up. I still have a long way to go, but I'm glad that my parents pushed me to do my best.
Mom and Dad are high school sweethearts. They both went to Oak Park High School in Kansas City. After graduation Dad went to the University of Missouri at Rolla (now Missouri University of Science and Technology) and Mom went to Warrensburg. I still remember childhood vacations going to these exotic locales. After graduating, they were married. Mom moved to Rolla with Dad while he got his Masters in Chemical Engineering (dude's super-smart). After that program, they ended up back in KC. Had a couple of kids, and now are doing their best to figure out life with the rest of us. Of course this is the brief version, if you want the longer and more accurate one you'll have to ask them.
I tell my parents story to bring up a point about myself. I always thought that I would emulate their example. Marry my high school sweetheart. That didn't work out. Then I figured I'd be married right out of college. Strike two. After two strikes I figured I was out and gave up trying to relive my parents lives. I am my own person. My path is my own, and it is going to look different that Chris and Lori Lancaster's. It's going to look different than my brother and sister-in-law's. And it's going to look different than yours. And I've only lately come to realize this. And come to realize that it is ok, and even good, for me to be seeking my own way. Because to try to go down someone else's would only make me miss out on the greatest good that I could experience by finding my own way.
When I talk about path, I mean that I believe that God has a plan for me. If he had a plan for Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph then I'm sure he has a little something for me as well. By copying the plan that God has for someone else I'm essentially saying that I don't trust what He has for me. And that I am jealous of what that someone else has.
So what's the path God has for you? Are you on it, or are you more worried about following someone else.
"Unless you hate your mother and father..."
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
My Mom and Dad are high school sweethearts. They're also the greatest parents ever. I wrote earlier that I was mowing the yard. I enjoy doing this, but it was getting dark and I really didn't want to finish the back. "I'll just do it tomorrow," I thought to myself. But fifteen minutes later I was done with it, just in time for the sun to retreat across the horizon. I blame my parents for this. Because of them I can't leave any job undone. Because of them I feel like I have to give my all to everything I do. "If you're gonna do something half-assed," Dad said once, "it's not worth doing at all." I say I blame them, but I'm really grateful for that. Because of that I have a job that I am good at, the people I work with respect me, and the people that see me work notice it. This isn't to make my self puffed up. I still have a long way to go, but I'm glad that my parents pushed me to do my best.
Mom and Dad are high school sweethearts. They both went to Oak Park High School in Kansas City. After graduation Dad went to the University of Missouri at Rolla (now Missouri University of Science and Technology) and Mom went to Warrensburg. I still remember childhood vacations going to these exotic locales. After graduating, they were married. Mom moved to Rolla with Dad while he got his Masters in Chemical Engineering (dude's super-smart). After that program, they ended up back in KC. Had a couple of kids, and now are doing their best to figure out life with the rest of us. Of course this is the brief version, if you want the longer and more accurate one you'll have to ask them.
I tell my parents story to bring up a point about myself. I always thought that I would emulate their example. Marry my high school sweetheart. That didn't work out. Then I figured I'd be married right out of college. Strike two. After two strikes I figured I was out and gave up trying to relive my parents lives. I am my own person. My path is my own, and it is going to look different that Chris and Lori Lancaster's. It's going to look different than my brother and sister-in-law's. And it's going to look different than yours. And I've only lately come to realize this. And come to realize that it is ok, and even good, for me to be seeking my own way. Because to try to go down someone else's would only make me miss out on the greatest good that I could experience by finding my own way.
When I talk about path, I mean that I believe that God has a plan for me. If he had a plan for Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph then I'm sure he has a little something for me as well. By copying the plan that God has for someone else I'm essentially saying that I don't trust what He has for me. And that I am jealous of what that someone else has.
So what's the path God has for you? Are you on it, or are you more worried about following someone else.
"Unless you hate your mother and father..."
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
Monday, April 18, 2011
luke reviews: gilgamesh
In the summer of 2008 I decided that my brain was turning to mush (mom's words) and did a google search for the "top 100 books ever written." This is what I found:
The top 100 books of all time
You may argue there are books on this list that shouldn't be, and others that have been left out. And I'll let you do that. But as a 21 year old I didn't much care about that, I just needed something to read off of. So I started with "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austin. That summer I completed a couple more (Ovid, Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, etc.) and was feeling pretty good about my progress. Then life happened. I went back to Belmont, had to do school, ended up at Brookwoods the next summer, ended/started again/ended a relationship, and began working at Harvest Hands. All this time I've been attempting to read off this list, with limited success. In the fall of 2009 my friend Claire gave me her copy of "Gilgamesh," but I never started reading it. So Sunday morning before church I decided that I was going to start it. And last night after a day of, Dose, Downtown Presbyterian Church, mowing the yard, Jazz at the Frist, Vishnu exhibit at the Frist, and the Saucer/Preds game with Rob, I finished it. I was reading the "new english version," to be fair. So it was more "The Message" than the KJV.
I don't know how many of you have read this Mesopotamian epic so I'll recount a little of it.
Gilgamesh is the man. He's the greatest there is, "perfect." But he's also kind of a jerk. And by kind of, I mean he exercises his right to have sex with new brides to his fullest. So his people call out to their gods complaining that Gilgamesh is going too far. So they create an equal for him, someone to complete him. Thus Enkidu is formed. He runs with the animals in the forests, eats what they eat and drinks the water they drink. A trapper stumbles upon him and freaks, and eventually goes to Gilgamesh for advice. Gilgamesh tells him to get a temple prostitute to seduce Enkidu, thereby showing the animals he used to run with that he is a man and different than them. Enraged Enkidu goes to fight Gilgamesh, crediting him for this fall. Gilgamesh eventually wins, but they become friends after this fight. After a while they get bored and decide to go fight Humbaba the terrible. He was made by the gods to frighten man away from approaching their mountain. They journey to find him, do, and kill him (with a little help from the gods). After they return home victorious a goddess starts hitting on Gilgamesh and he spurns her advances. She gets pissed, and tells her dad who suggests that there may be a reason why Gilgamesh says the things he did. Not happy about that she has him send the Bull of Heaven to kill Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the city. They kill the bull showing together they are seemingly unstoppable. But Enkidu falls ill shortly after the victory and eventually dies. Gilgamesh is inconsolable and goes on another quest, this time to find the secret to immortality. He learns that death is the portion given to man, and there is nothing he can do about it.
So there it is, in 305 words. But the real question is this: "what did I think about it?"
I enjoyed the heck out of it, that's what I think about it. I enjoyed this book so much because of the message that is within. There are many different directions I could take with this report, but the one I want to drive around a bit is the idea of brotherhood. Gilgamesh isn't complete until another part of him is created, Enkidu. Enkidu is wild and untamed, Gilgamesh is civil and plays by the rules of (his) society, however bad they may be. But when these two get together they can kick some butt and take some names. They do the impossible together. On their journey to Humbaba Gilgamesh is constantly haunted by dreams, which Enkidu interprets positively for him. At the moment when he could strike the killing blow to this beast he falters, until Enkidu strengthens him. At the edge of Humbaba's lair Enkidu fears for his life, and Gilgamesh encourages him on. They work together for the betterment of each other. Yet when Enkidu falls ill and feels he will die Gilgamesh doesn't seem to care to much, telling him he'll get better. And after his death Gilgamesh is only concerned with finding a way to make his own life go on, showing us that this brotherhood isn't perfect. None ever are.
I'm thankful for the "brotherhoods" that I have been a part of. Weather they are from Antioch Bible Baptist Church, Belmont University, Brookwoods and Deer Run, or Harvest Hands they mean the world to me. So if you have been a part of any of those circles, thank you for living life with me.
I also wanted to tell a story from my own life.
Last Thursday I was at Gabby's enjoying a Mattadelphia sandwich and some fruit tea. A man, late middle aged, sat down next to me at the bar. We started chatting about whatever it is you talk to a stranger about, only being interrupted when his food is delivered and he prays for it. My first thought was "I wonder if he loves Jesus?" My second was "I should pray more." He finishes and starts on his burger, while I am just finishing my sandwich. He mentions that he used to go to Fat Mo's (another burger joint in town) until he found out that it was owned "by one of them towlheads." I said I liked the burgers, finished my meal, and went back to work disappointed. So my question is this: how can we love Jesus but not our neighbors? How can we claim to be His, but hate those who's only difference from us is beliefs? I understand that those beliefs and values may run contrary to ours, but aren't we called to love?
I think we are, and that's what I'm gonna try to do. It's racist to assume that people are bad because of their race. That's all there is to it.
As David, one of my fifth graders at work, once said: "Labels are for cans, not people."
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
The top 100 books of all time
You may argue there are books on this list that shouldn't be, and others that have been left out. And I'll let you do that. But as a 21 year old I didn't much care about that, I just needed something to read off of. So I started with "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austin. That summer I completed a couple more (Ovid, Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, etc.) and was feeling pretty good about my progress. Then life happened. I went back to Belmont, had to do school, ended up at Brookwoods the next summer, ended/started again/ended a relationship, and began working at Harvest Hands. All this time I've been attempting to read off this list, with limited success. In the fall of 2009 my friend Claire gave me her copy of "Gilgamesh," but I never started reading it. So Sunday morning before church I decided that I was going to start it. And last night after a day of, Dose, Downtown Presbyterian Church, mowing the yard, Jazz at the Frist, Vishnu exhibit at the Frist, and the Saucer/Preds game with Rob, I finished it. I was reading the "new english version," to be fair. So it was more "The Message" than the KJV.
I don't know how many of you have read this Mesopotamian epic so I'll recount a little of it.
Gilgamesh is the man. He's the greatest there is, "perfect." But he's also kind of a jerk. And by kind of, I mean he exercises his right to have sex with new brides to his fullest. So his people call out to their gods complaining that Gilgamesh is going too far. So they create an equal for him, someone to complete him. Thus Enkidu is formed. He runs with the animals in the forests, eats what they eat and drinks the water they drink. A trapper stumbles upon him and freaks, and eventually goes to Gilgamesh for advice. Gilgamesh tells him to get a temple prostitute to seduce Enkidu, thereby showing the animals he used to run with that he is a man and different than them. Enraged Enkidu goes to fight Gilgamesh, crediting him for this fall. Gilgamesh eventually wins, but they become friends after this fight. After a while they get bored and decide to go fight Humbaba the terrible. He was made by the gods to frighten man away from approaching their mountain. They journey to find him, do, and kill him (with a little help from the gods). After they return home victorious a goddess starts hitting on Gilgamesh and he spurns her advances. She gets pissed, and tells her dad who suggests that there may be a reason why Gilgamesh says the things he did. Not happy about that she has him send the Bull of Heaven to kill Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the city. They kill the bull showing together they are seemingly unstoppable. But Enkidu falls ill shortly after the victory and eventually dies. Gilgamesh is inconsolable and goes on another quest, this time to find the secret to immortality. He learns that death is the portion given to man, and there is nothing he can do about it.
So there it is, in 305 words. But the real question is this: "what did I think about it?"
I enjoyed the heck out of it, that's what I think about it. I enjoyed this book so much because of the message that is within. There are many different directions I could take with this report, but the one I want to drive around a bit is the idea of brotherhood. Gilgamesh isn't complete until another part of him is created, Enkidu. Enkidu is wild and untamed, Gilgamesh is civil and plays by the rules of (his) society, however bad they may be. But when these two get together they can kick some butt and take some names. They do the impossible together. On their journey to Humbaba Gilgamesh is constantly haunted by dreams, which Enkidu interprets positively for him. At the moment when he could strike the killing blow to this beast he falters, until Enkidu strengthens him. At the edge of Humbaba's lair Enkidu fears for his life, and Gilgamesh encourages him on. They work together for the betterment of each other. Yet when Enkidu falls ill and feels he will die Gilgamesh doesn't seem to care to much, telling him he'll get better. And after his death Gilgamesh is only concerned with finding a way to make his own life go on, showing us that this brotherhood isn't perfect. None ever are.
I'm thankful for the "brotherhoods" that I have been a part of. Weather they are from Antioch Bible Baptist Church, Belmont University, Brookwoods and Deer Run, or Harvest Hands they mean the world to me. So if you have been a part of any of those circles, thank you for living life with me.
I also wanted to tell a story from my own life.
Last Thursday I was at Gabby's enjoying a Mattadelphia sandwich and some fruit tea. A man, late middle aged, sat down next to me at the bar. We started chatting about whatever it is you talk to a stranger about, only being interrupted when his food is delivered and he prays for it. My first thought was "I wonder if he loves Jesus?" My second was "I should pray more." He finishes and starts on his burger, while I am just finishing my sandwich. He mentions that he used to go to Fat Mo's (another burger joint in town) until he found out that it was owned "by one of them towlheads." I said I liked the burgers, finished my meal, and went back to work disappointed. So my question is this: how can we love Jesus but not our neighbors? How can we claim to be His, but hate those who's only difference from us is beliefs? I understand that those beliefs and values may run contrary to ours, but aren't we called to love?
I think we are, and that's what I'm gonna try to do. It's racist to assume that people are bad because of their race. That's all there is to it.
As David, one of my fifth graders at work, once said: "Labels are for cans, not people."
Luke
luketlancaster@gmail.com
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